Guilty Pleasures

There’s some things I need to get off my chest.

I generally have pretty good taste, I think. Which means I tend to associate with other people who share my good taste, which means, well, it can get a little snooty up in here. And when things get snooty, the phrase “guilty pleasure” seems to get thrown a lot. Some of these things are genuinely guilt-ridden – a cupcake for a diabetic, a cheeseburger for a dieter, a steak for a vegetarian, a tendency to rape/maim/murder people. But most are really just shameful pleasures; for me, anyway, I often will hide or deny my genuine enjoyment of something because I’m afraid of what my friends would think.

So I figure this will be at once my most embarrassing and liberating blog post ever.

THINGS THAT ARE HORRIBLY AWESOME:

Kraft Dinner: I have no justification for this other than it tastes great. Most things involving processed cheese powders do. That’s just the way it is.

Artificial Grape Flavouring: Aside from the Frankensteinien monstrosity that is the Grāpple, artificial grape flavour has never done me wrong. Kool-aid, popsicles, those weird flavoured waters, grape pop – bring it on.

Caramilk bars: I appreciate fine chocolate, I really do, and I’ve got a decent palate for it. But goshdarnit if I don’t just want to scarf a wad of cheap milk chocolate and caramel goo every now and then.

Doritos: Oooooh powdered cheese, I love you so much. Doritos are like crack to me. When I was in Germany on a student exchange I was begging for someone back home to ship me a bag, and during my 10-month stint as a vegetarian, I was always hiding empty Zesty Cheese bags under my bed so that my vegetarian boyfriend wouldn’t know I was still eating them (the powdered cheese is not vegetarian). Oddly, I seem to have kicked my addiction these days, without even really trying.

Diet Coke: Okay, this one I do genuinely feel guilty about, which is why I’ve quit it. But I still crave the ice cold fizzy refreshing goodness of it all the time.

My Chemical Romance: So fun to sing along to in the car. This is all the justification I need. Ditto Fall Out Boy. Although I do fully realize that these bands are very, very lame, they’re also very listenable.

Cocaine: Just kidding. Maybe.

Kentucky Fried Chicken: How can it be wrong when it feels so, so right

Alright, that’s enough, but you catch my drift. Please tell me some of yours to take some of the shame off of me!